isn't it strange how you can sit and watch the most banal
of movies... or the most triumphant, and for just a few short
minutes after its end, you find yourself somehow transcending
normality... hopelessly still hanging on to the sensational
ruins of the movie's end..... then, without warning, reality blinks
in... and you spend the next few moments in sheer awakening
that somehow, against your will, you were temporarily transfixed
into a perspective, a state of being, that carried you through 15 minutes...
completely unaware that you were being deceived, and you sink
in those moments, realizing that your condition, your REAL reality,
is absorbing your hope like that of an invisible sponge... soaking up
the whispy air of fantasy, removing the feelings like drawing back
a curtain... and shows you the truth in bitter color...
perhaps that is the magic of movies... a careless, sadistical magician.
and yet, the most horrible is not the realization that you were in
delusion nor was it that your true reality is less than kind.... but
it is the zenith of the journey... the pinnacle between the two points
that leaves you gasping.... that small, crumbling plateau from which
you desperately cling... hoping the floor will not give way... but knowing
that it has no choice but to release you to gravity... that you become
fearful, saddened, remorseful... at the death of your hope from the
state of being this magician twisted on to you.
this doesn't happen every time... but every so often, it will catch you
by surprise......and when the floor opens up on you and you find yourself
reaching hand over hand that the disappearing ground... you have no
choice but to give in and feel yourself suspended in a state of free-fall...
what peculiar images pass through the mind then....
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